When I think of mussels (the shellfish, not the gym-rat kind), I think of the ocean. Seagulls wheeling overhead, the gross but nostalgic smell of seaweed, maybe of wine and butter on a Friday summer ...

What has black-and-white stripes, likes to settle on rocks, and has two D-shaped shells? That's right: zebra mussels. Otherwise known as the invasive species that's forcing out native mussel species, ...