News

Area woman Olga Sawatzky, 61, is very impressed with her garden this year and says she’s especially excited to be one-quarter of a popular Simon and Garfunkel song. “Not that I listen to that ‘behind ...
Area man Dave Kehler immensely enjoyed his time at the Anabaptism 500 celebrations in Zurich this week, but the pleasant festivities contrasted with the rather unfriendly greeting he received on his ...
MORDEN-WINKLER, MB Area man Timothy Reimer, 69, has emerged from a hip replacement surgery as the hippest man in all of Reinland. “I no longer listen to gospel quartets. From now on it’s all Kendrick ...
Statistics Canada has just released the results of the 2021 census and there are many startling revelations about the country’s Mennonite population. Let’s have a look! Average Mennonite net worth: 73 ...
In a coronation ceremony held in Moose Jaw this afternoon, legendary moustachioed musician Burton Cummings ascended to the Canadian throne. The move means the new $50 bill will now feature a late 70s ...
Mr. Earl Fehr of Regina loaded up the minivan and took the family on a six-hour long drive through the countryside to look at some fields this weekend. “Hey, look, kids! Bales!” yelled an excited Mr.
Area couple Anne and Peter Bueckert were really excited to have an authentic Mexican experience this week, which is why they flew straight to Cancun, took the shuttle from the airport, and never once ...
DALLAS, TX Minutes after discovering the NHL has changed its rule and now allows pucks to be kicked into the net, Dallas Stars GM Jim Nill got on the phone with soccer superstar Lionel Messi. “Heck, ...
It may have been temporarily paused for now, but this week the White House announced a 87% reciprocal tariff on all penguins, including hockey superstar Sydney Crosby. “Yeah, well I guess this is what ...
A recent investigation had concluded that every single Penner, Friesen, and Funk in the state of Kansas are all sharing the same Netflix account. “It’s believed to have started with Abe Penner of ...
Voters across the country are gearing up for what just may be the most exciting and important False Dichotomy we’ve had in many decades. “It was really hard to decide who to vote for,” said Mrs.
After an unseemly incident in London, Ontario this week, the NHL has decided to ban players from calling Mennonites Mennonites. “What’s next? Someone’s going to call Jonathan Toews a Mennonite? Oba ...