Area woman Olga Sawatzky, 61, is very impressed with her garden this year and says she’s especially excited to be one-quarter of a popular Simon and Garfunkel song. “Not that I listen to that ‘behind ...

Beloved blue-haired mother-of-three Marge Simpson will be buried this week in a family plot near Herbert, Saskatchewan. “We ask that the public is respectful at this time of mourning for the Simpson ...

Area man Garth Martens has reached the age of 31, which means he will now settle all his opinions and judgments of taste and not diverge from these for the rest of his life. “Like my father and his ...

STEINBACH, MB Local Main Street racer Collin Dueck, 26, was really looking forward to the new F1 movie, but has come away more confused than ever. “I’ve been a professional racer for almost a decade ...

MORDEN-WINKLER, MB Area man Timothy Reimer, 69, has emerged from a hip replacement surgery as the hippest man in all of Reinland. “I no longer listen to gospel quartets. From now on it’s all Kendrick ...

An innocent civilian in some other country is super grateful to all the foreign powers who decided the best way to bring about his freedom was to rain down missiles onto his neighbourhood.

Malls were packed this weekend for the kickoff of summer. And you know what that means – deals on all the hottest World War III apparel. “There’s camo everywhere,” said eager shopper Kathy Kroeker, 23 ...

VANAPAG, MB There have been a lot of changes at 300 Portage Avenue this week after the signing of Jonathan Toews. “I haven’t been this excited about the Vanapag Jats since Patrik Laine grew that ...

The Winnipeg Jets scored a major coup this week after signing hometown hero and NHL legend Jonathan Toews, who, according to rumours, signed with the team exclusively because “they’re the only ones ...

After months of controversy and debate, Dolphin School Trustee Pete Caflib has finally convinced his local school division to bring back the Royal Anthem. “Yeah, so I picked up a bunch of 45s from the ...

There was a lineup stretching down the hallway this afternoon, as Mrs. Enns held the elevator door for “just a couple more minutes.” Well, those minutes soon became hours, as Mrs. Enns had just one ...